Saturday, August 14, 2010

294th entry> Calm VS Tense

Ever since quarreling with Barbara at ComGateway, my fate with companies has gone from bad to worse over the years. Following this was BreatheRight at Parkway Watsons. Then the most recent of all, Robinsons at Expo with Peter Lim. Temper rising as the rebellious genes inside me get activated with age and I'm having trouble controlling my anger. I can't believe myself that I would explode to my family as well. I tried so badly to pinch my own hands to stop myself from bickering with my mother. Well, it worked sometimes, but at times like today, it didn't.

Prawning incident on Thursday night. When I reached home, I knew whatever I say would not simmer my fuming mad mother, therefore I went to bathe and sleep the instant I reached home. Supposedly things would get better the next day, I thought. Well, it did. But all went well up till 9p.m. when my mother got home from work. She talked to me about yesterday, about prawning, about reaching home past 12midnight. And it started. I shouted at her, asked her why I should not go out just because of the Hungry Ghost festival. Its not as if I went out every night and return only in the wee hours. I am still planning on having a supper trip with the hubbers cos now Mong can drive and will be able to send us home. And this would surely be a past midnight event again. I don't understand why she's so overly sensitive and anxious.

I guess I would not be able to understand this until I'm a parent myself.

Suddenly miss Line a hell lot. Because at times like this, I would usually meet her up and start complaining to her. But now I can't, cos she's over at Norway (or somewhere in Europe). Haven't been clubbing ever since Line left. Same for pool. I miss having a buddy to pool with as and when I like. Belle has school, same for most of the hubbers, work and school.

Yea I know I shouldn't be mad at my mother. Because I only have 2 weeks left in SG and I won't see her for another 4 months. However, precisely because I only have 2 weeks left, I want to do many things with many people.


ARGH I'M SO FUCKING FRUSTRATED NOW.

And I feel like going out of house now.