Saturday, April 04, 2009
279th entry> oh what happens...
Always wonder why I have to study so hard, what am I doing sleeping at lecture halls, when can I start relaxing and taking a breath? Everything is so fast-paced, I have absolutely no idea where my hectic life is heading. I can't slow down to look at posters at Buona Vista MRT station, I can't stop to RE-learn how to hold the chopsticks in the correct traditional way. Life is meant to be miserable?
Feeling couped up at home, trying to decipher what has been taught by Prof Yannis Yatracos for the whole semester. This Greek guy is someone you don't want to annoy. He asks you to "go to hell" if you're talking at his lecture; he claims that some crazy long formula should be memorised; at the start of the semester, he told us he will only test things he can cover during the final year exam, and at the end of the semester, he said he taught us much more as compared to the past three years; he gave us the 'hardest probability question in the world' as our homework assignment and worse still, he refuse to give us any hints for the homework assignment. I can only describe him with one word, evil. But, thank goodness, we are allowed two pieces of helpsheet, which kinda relieved a little of my stress.
I actually completed the two exercise questions for probability tutorial next week! -rejoices- I've never touched my probability tutorial since the start of tutorial 4. Therefore, I'm currently proud of my own achievement.
GRUMBLES at the fact that multivariable calculus still has "A FEW" lectures to go. Dr Ku is apparently not letting us off. The whole module was filled with unfamiliar formulas that I probably would never touch when I get out of uni. So, tell me why I have to learn them now. Double integrals? Triple integrals? I'm confused.
Please, oh please tell me what all these have to do with something in my future. Show me some form of guidance. Or maybe a little hint?
Was grumbling to Belle on train ride home, how everything is changing. How my life used to be, how it is now. Young secondary one girl holding Xperia in on hand, Kipling bag, Adidas shoes, Nike waterbottle. My waterbottle in Secondary one is those plastic normal bottles, like it is now. Shoes at that time, a pair for 10 bucks, simple plain white shoes. 3 for 10 Pasar Malam bag, not Kipling. Far from Xperia, my phone has only a basic function of calling. You say, times have changed. But has it became THAT different? Kids nowadays, living on never-ending cash. I say, times really have changed.
At the age of 20, how can I get a stable, high income job?
At the age of 30, how can I get to the top of the company?
At the age of 40, how can I constantly upgrade myself so as not to be retrenched?
At the age of 50, when can I retire?
At the age of 60, do I have enough to tour the world in 80 days?
At the age of 70, how long more can I live?
At the age of 80, what more do I want?
Planned this with Belle a few weeks ago, just a little more modified to my own thoughts.
Feeling very old lately. Looking at JC students gave me a nostalgic feeling of school and how I kind of made some wrong choices during then. Looking at secondary students, I regret not participating more as an alumni, but am I too late? Looking at primary students, please stay happy and stress-free. Looking at toddlers and infants, oh sheeeesh, I want to stay young and cute. On the other hand, what is it like to have a baby on my own? OH MY GOSH. I feel super old. Plus backaches lately.
Will there really be a doomsday in 2012? If there is, how can I cherish my time now? =( -SIGHS- Its sad to say, life sucks.
Caroline asks, when is the last time you do something for the first time? It sets me thinking for awhile. Not too long ago, first Batam trip with the hubbers. This is probably it! But have you ever wondered, that its so sad, your life has became a routine that there's no longer any "first times". Its so demoralizing thinking of this.
Shall go back to read up on probability and hope the power of the Greek gods can pull me through this exam set by their evil Greek descendant.