Tuesday, May 20, 2008
239th entry> Counselling
I just had some mood swings again. And, this time, I'm very glad I was saved by a great friend.
Call me bitch or what. I just bitched about someone to some people. I needed someone to talk. I've always been taking in people's problems, and left to sink with my own ones. Work especially worsen the conditions that I'm in. Mood swings due to insufficient sleep and terrible working conditions.
And the story goes like this...
From today onwards, I'm tuning my virgo radar, from maximum to 50%. I must learn to control. How much do I want to know about everything? Do I have the capacity to store so many things? Like what Marlene told me, "Care for yourself, then in this way, you're in an even better position to care for others, like your friends, as well". Honestly, when the radar is at turbo power, I'm unable to juggle things well. Thats why, from now on, I'm going to try to be more cold and unfeeling to things that will happen around me.
You seriously disappoint me once again. Isn't it out of courtesy to at least inform your group of friends that you guys are having an outing or what? Even though you know how much we would not be joining you, even though you know I'll be working full day, do you think just by sending an invitation message would be a taxing and troublesome thing? Or is it just a waste of your sms. Thats why you are not willing to even ask or inform? How many times do you have to repeat your insensitivity? You'll be acting blur as if you've not realised it if you were confronted. Your actions are so sickening, and I really had enough. No matter how hard I'm trying to simplify things, things always go the other way. I'm not interested in cleaning up your shits for you anymore. Because, its time you stand on your own feet, and clean up your own mess. To you, it might be nothing. But you never thought of how people feel about your actions. All you think of is, yourself, yourself and yourself. You must be pampered, you must get what you want, the guys must do things for you, you must never be disadvantaged. I bet, if you ever read this, you will know I'm writing about you. Cos, you know it, but you just don't want to admit it.
Save those talks about you crying because I ignore you, or scold you, or anything that makes you feel indignant. You just want people to feel bad. You don't get affected, but you don't want to be on the losing end. You will tell every single people you have control over and then you will not be the first to patch things up. You are stubborn and thinks the whole world owes you MANY. You just want to win.
What horoscope does that remind you off?
To forgive and forget. I would love to attain this. Its always easier to take, but when it comes to giving, no one would be willing. My mum always tell me that I always lose out because of my temper. Now I know I lose double because I think too much. While I cry and torture myself, the others won't be feeling a thing on the other side. I wouldn't have felt so disappointed if you weren't my good friend. The higher the hopes, the greater the disappointment. But should I lose these hopes?
My life goes on... With my radar working at 50% only.
***
Work place sucks. They went to da pao food and asked the whole company, other than the four new temp staffs. OMG. What kind of attitude is that? Enough said, I hope they buy more 3-in-1 coffee. I keep falling asleep staring at the computers. And their biscuits serve as my great morning breakfast! Discovery of a short route to laupasat enables us to not worry about meals in future! Food variety there can last us for that two months!
***
I'm going to the dentist on thursday! I think I'm putting on the metal brackets! (: ROCKS.
Shall appear offline in future unless when I'm feeling better. Have been hearing upsetting information whenever I come online for the past 2 days. Plus today, 3 in three consecutive days. I had enough of it. Many thanks to Marlene for weighing things out for me to see clearly. Maybe they are feeling upset there as well. Maybe. Thank you Ing for listening to my crap. Thank you in advance to WanJin and Fiona who are going to stop me whenever I become ultra sensitive.
And WanJin, you better remember our contract for life! :D