Friday, August 18, 2006

142th entry>heavy-hearted

sunhearts

sometimes when i blog about things. it just comes right out, and then after i written them on my blogs, they are gone from my brains. ok... this makes me feel abit brainless. but its not actually wad i mean. everyone gets angered at times, its just that the frequency of me being pissed is much higher than some ppl. in short: i get angry easily.

but wad usually happened that day, will not stay with me for too long, unless its something that is super significant like my grandfather's death anniversary sort of things. the others get away once i blog about them. in short: i forget things easily.

i feel guilty. about probably wad i wrote b4. i am sorry. but at that time when someone is fuming with anger, you dun refrain ppl [especially sunny] to not scold vulgarities. mayb its abit harsh to scold you 'bitch', yea thats kinda mean thinking that you are at least my fren and classmate for years. i'm sorry.

i feel that i'm a changed person.

most important factor is the amount of vulgars i hurl at someone even when the person did not do anything super ultra serious. not that i'm a total noob at scolding vulgarities before i came to jc. ya meaning i scold vulgarities too when i'm in dunman high. just that, my character changed. i'm getting more impatient and real short-tempered. andn this induces the higher rate of vulgarities coming out frm my mouth. okkk... i'm trying to control. i lose my self control too at times. its just that my tolerance level is kinda super duper ultra low and i realli cant help shouting at ppl sometimes. i'm sorry. i am still trying to reduce my vocab of vulgarities so that it doesnt 出口成章 and actually it realli is kinda hard.

ok... there's no more secondly or thirdly. guess this is how i change i suppose. hmm i am like...saD? cos i dun wanna scold. but everyday, something must go wrong! and sunny will end up throwing her tantrums around. gosh you wun wanna see me one day with terrible bad mood. erm, that would be real bad, mayb even quarrelling with SAMS or totally isolate myself, being a loner.

this is wad you call self-inflicted pain.

but actually shouldnt everyone practise self-control and probably sensitivitY? its how you work out to be a sociable person right? i mean, no one is perfect... ya. but still put in some effort. ppl will get hurt hearing some insensitive comments one loR!

in conclusion: sorry.